229 - Going back to calorie counting

I tried Intermittent Fasting with no specific dietary requirements other than not eating outside of a 3pm to 7pm window.  It worked reasonably well, however, my adherence slowly deteriorated.  It didn't seem that the fast alone was enough to get me where I wanted to be.  And with my weight holding steady or moving up, the will to keep to that strict 4 hours window weakened.  It could certainly have been made to work, I just did do it. 

I felt very energetic, almost wired, when I kept to the 4 hour eating window.  Only problem I found is that I would have to eat so much in that window, I basically trained myself to binge.  I was eating as much as I could, sometimes until I felt uncomfortable, and I didn't seem to have a normal hunger/fullness sensation.  And at the end of the 4 hour window, the fear of how long I'd have to go before I ate again would have me looking for anything I could eat before I hit the cutoff window. 

I think I was also eating too much fruit in that time, since I could "eat whatever I wanted" within that window.  And I've always found that when I start going heavy on fruit, I fall off the wagon soon after. 

So as I started to completely fall off the IF program, by weight jumped up several pounds.  Then about a week ago I suddenly felt much fatter and I weighed myself and was surprised to see 232 on the scale.  I mean, I guess I wasn't surprised, because I just felt like I was retaining a lot of water. 

So that's the heaviest I've been in a long time, and I've felt like crap, and there's just nothing good about it.  It's depressing and I feel so far from where I was a few years ago.  I need to get things going in the right direction. 

Baby #4 coming in the next 6 weeks just adds another piece to our hectic lives, but I have to find a way to keep myself on track regardless.  It only gets harder if I don't. 

So, the goal is a 1,000 calorie daily deficit with 2 lbs lost per week, so that I'm 185 by January 9, 2019.  The last 15 lbs will be the hardest, but I'll be very happy to be back in that fight.